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Quote of the month...

"Standing tall is a very admirable thing. There are very few stories in history of heroes who slouched to the rescue. Likewise, most individuals don't look up to people who are drooped over."
from Leven Thumps and the Wrath of Ezra by Obert Skye

my family

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

: "when a silly Indonesian woman tries to write in English (a contest)".

The rules:
1. I want you to pick any of my post in this blog, that you think has mistakes in writings, grammar, anything (in English)--- (which I believe each post does :P..). then post it on your blog. in your post you should:
* write on your tittle: "when a silly Indonesian woman tries to write in English (a contest)". if i still write this tittle wrong, go write it right..
* tell in the beginning of the post you do, about this give away and link to this post.
* optional: rewrite the post you choose, and its tittle. or just show me where the mistakes are... (you can skip this if you feel don't want to do)
* tell me how you think about this blog, in any way (you can choose one, or two, or all): the language, the topics, the style, the look, the pictures, anything! remember, I don't mind if you tell bad things, as long as it is not rude. I'll take it as a critic.

I will post my corrections in purple,
either right in the sentence or as a whole new one.

The Post:
I am overloaded....

with the kid fights.

I don't know why each time my kids get close to one another there always is a fight. Yesterday I really felt I had too much of it.

first: Ibit VS Ar. fought over.... I forgot what. I was reading in the living room and they fought over something in the kitchen, on their way to their room. results: crying and shout.
I was reading in the living room, when I heard them fighting in the kitchen on the way to their room. results: crying and shouting

second: Ibit VS Ir. Ibit was looking for her 'monopoly' in nanny's cupboard and found a fan she used in dance, when she was in second grade. The fan is what they were fighting over. result: I don't know how, but they broke nanny's lamp plus crying and shouting.

third: Ar VS Ir. object: unknown. result: Ir bit Ar's finger. crying and shouting.

That's enough! I said, "Why do you guys always fight when you get close one another? Ok then, tonight I don't want to see you in the same place with any other of you"
OK, then tonight, I don't want you anywhere near each other.

I brought Ir to sleep in the praying room upstairs. yes tonight they all have to sleep alone.
it would be easy for Ibit since she's always been sleeping alone in her own room. but Ar and Ir have been sharing the same bed since they were zygots, and I believe it was hard. have I been so mean?
Tonight, everyone will sleep alone. It is easy for Ibit, since she has always had her own room and slept alone, but for Ar and Ir who have always been together since they were zygots, I believe it was very hard. I had Ir sleep upstairs in the praying room. Have I been terribly mean?

Ir didn't say a word, but I know he was sad.
Ar, you can't expect him to just keep what he feels inside.
He asked, "Why does Ir have to sleep upstairs?"
"Because you two always have a fight whenever you get close," I replied.
"But not when we are sleeping. Let us sleep together," he begged.
I giggled, "Of course you can't fight when you are asleep." I said, "NO."

I asked Dan, "Is this going to be temporary or permanent?"
"Temporary," he replied.
'isn't it a good idea to separate Ar Ir in the different rooms?'
"Do you think it's a good idea to split Ar and Ir up? Give them different rooms?"
"Is that necessary?" he asked.

so I accompanied Ir and Dan accompanied Ar until they fell asleep. and this morning, they both stick together so sweetly. ah....
I went with Ir upstairs and Dan went with Ar to the room. We stayed with them until they fell asleep. This morning, they are stuck together so sweetly.

It was nerve wracking to edit someone's writing. In some cases changing the whole sentence to make it sound right to my ears. Which might not be the case for all of your ears! Thank you, Latree for this unique opportunity to test my skills in the English language. (The Americanized version of English, that is!)
I really enjoy Dandelion blog and learn a lot about her culture, I would otherwise never have learned. We women are all the same, in so many ways and no matter where we live, we have the same fears, hopes and dreams. We all get tired of our kids fighting, we all hope for a better brighter future, we all have dreams and wishes for ourselves, and our families. If you haven't met Latree, I encourage you to drop by and say "HI".

1 comment:

latree said...

thank you so much, this is great... don't forget to stop by on (or 'at'? --- I'm always confuse using 'in', 'on', at...) 2 february. I'll announce the winner