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Quote of the month...

"Standing tall is a very admirable thing. There are very few stories in history of heroes who slouched to the rescue. Likewise, most individuals don't look up to people who are drooped over."
from Leven Thumps and the Wrath of Ezra by Obert Skye

my family

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Food for thought

At play group today we had one of the ladies pose this question to us: "What is YOUR definition of a good wife?" Boy, did that spark a conversation! Just stop and think a minute..... how do you feel about such a question? What thoughts run through your mind? What we came up with after quite the lengthy discussion on this was: A good wife is a happy woman who is secure in her relationship and enjoys all aspects of that relationship. She feels loved and appreciated and not like a slave or servant. She has good communication with her husband. She is kind, loving, understanding and forgiving. I would have to say that these would also be the same things for a good husband. Now, I'm not saying that a person will feel this way all the time, but hopefully a good chunk of the time. This lady asking, is to make a list and her husband is going to make a list. (The good husband lists are to follow.) I think that if my husband had asked this of me, I would have wanted to throw something! Seriously! I know that most husbands (men in general) think that women who stay home have the easy life and that men have it SO much harder because they go to work. Truthfully, they get to clock out, come home and kick back. We mothers (women) working away from home or stay at home NEVER get to clock out and kick back. The husband, in most cases, just becomes one more 'child' to care for. Occasionally, I have thought all men should be given the opportunity to take over and do it all for a week (or longer) and see if they don't come to a realization of just how much work it is to care for a family. I love this song:

Mr. Mom
Performed by: Lonestar
Lost my job, came home mad
Got a hug and a kiss and that's too bad
She said I can go to work until you find another job
I thought I like the sound of that
Watch TV and take long naps
Go from a hard working dad to being Mr. Mom
Well, pampers melt in a Maytag dryer
Crayons go up one drawer higher
Rewind Barney for the fifteenth time
Breakfast six, naps at nine
There's bubblegum in the baby's hair
Sweet potatoes in my lazy chair
Been crazy all day long and it's only Monday
Mr. Mom
Football, soccer and ballet
Squeeze in Scouts and PTA
And there's that shopping list she left
That's seven pages long
How much smoke can one stove make
The kids won't eat my charcoal cake
It's more than any man can take
Being Mr. Mom
Well, pampers melt in a Maytag dryer
Crayons go up one drawer higher
Rewind Barney for the sixteenth time
Breakfast six, naps at nine
There's bubblegum in the baby's hair
Sweet potatoes in my lazy chair
Been crazy all day long and it's only Monday
Mr. Mom
Before I fall in bed tonight
If the dog didn't eat the classifieds
I'm gonna look just one more time
Cause Pampers melt in a Maytag dryer
Crayons go up one drawer higher
Rewind Barney for the eighteenth time
Breakfast six, naps at nine
There's bubblegum in the baby's hair
Sweet potatoes in my lazy chair
Been crazy all day long
Oh, been crazy all day long and it's only Monday
Mr. Mom
Oh, Mr. Mom
Balancin' checkbooks, juggling bills
Thought there was nothing to it
Baby, now I know how you feel
What I don't know is how you do it
Honey, you're my hero
Think of your day what is the craziest part of it or is non stop ? How does your day go? Do you have days when you just HAVE to get out by yourself for a few minutes? How does your husband react? How much help do you get from him?
My husband has gotten to understand and recognize when I need a break. He will stay home with the crew so I can grocery shop in peace. He also knows that it will take me forever to get back, not because I enjoy getting groceries, but because I'm taking my time enjoying the peace of no children to take to the potty or keep from unloading the shelves or the cart faster than I can fix. He is willing and even likes to prepare meals. We have a lot of evenings when we eat late because I just didn't get that far and he helps with dinner when he gets home. It has taken 14 years to get to this point, but we are getting there! :-) It think that sometimes we women bring a little stress to the help of our husbands by wanting things done just our way. For example, when I left Troy in charge of the kids while I went to the school for centers, I gave him all the instructions. When I came home I wanted a report on how it all went.... I wonder did he think I thought he couldn't do it? I need to work on that.
It is busy in the morning getting ready for school. We have some slower time after breakfast (if we don't have errands, story time or play group that morning). Busy for lunch and down for naps (only my charges take a nap daily, with the twins, they are non-stop going). It is gets insane when the older kids come home from school with homework and chores and dinner to make. It seems that then they all need me all the time and two need to go online to do homework and 2 need me to study spelling words and on and on. The friend who posed the question said she was having a rough day with her kids (she has 2) and thought, "How does Carrie do this with 3 or 4 toddlers!?" Well, let me tell ya I have those kinds of days too! Those are the days I go to the store and wonder around til I fell better! Those are the days that since I started blogging I just breathe and then ignore everyone and type out my frustrations and hit publish post and feel better (knowing someone will read and it be able to relate and maybe drop a little "I feel your pain comment")
Just some food for thought.

2 comments:

Darla said...

Just thought I would let you know that I had the enlightening experience just now when I was in the hospital so long with our baby being born early...just over a week. My husband actually did say several times that he had a renewed respect for me and all that I do here. He used to always tell me to feel fortunate for being able to be home with the kids instead of going out to a stressful job every day, etc. I gave up trying to explain to him that i would be a little more thankful if I actually got to enjoy them instead of such intense caregiving, housekeeping, bill writing, checkbook balancing (or rather, lack thereof..it never balances so I have long since quit trying..just catching up the register is challenge enough), appt hopping, school paper sorting, fight breaking, meal prepping, grocery shopping, laundering,lawn mowing, wall painting, etc. etc. I am quite sure that in about 2 or so weeks, his memory will start to fade of how intense this week was and he will start thinking that I have it easy again but at least for a brief moment I got to actually bask in the knowledge that he finally got it for a bit!

carrie & troy keiser said...

Great when that happens (if even for only a few days), huh? I hope that my friend and her husband will find that understanding. Thanks for the comment.